I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
