You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
