how can u be prego again
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
