Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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