Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
