I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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