he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
