your thong is hanging out like whoa
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
