So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You pole danced in your parka.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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