I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
