I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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