Welp...herpes.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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