We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
