Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
