The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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