How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
