I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
