This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
