He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
farters have to be the big spoon...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
