One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
