I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
