Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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