"it" just moved
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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