yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
