ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
