Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
