Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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