You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
