Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
