his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
