I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
