Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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