honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
