Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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