garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize