the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
