Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
