I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
