So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
