i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I supernannyed him into submission
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
