bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize