As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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