Quick, to the slutcave!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize