He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
