I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
