I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Enjoy the penises
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
