"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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