i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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