Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
