the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
