Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
