Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
