Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize