i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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