How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
