Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She bit a glass in half.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
