never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize