Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
