drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she peed on how many people?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
