i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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