the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
